


We're Not Alone

by DustySoul



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Other, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3978457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustySoul/pseuds/DustySoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn tells Raven there's someone else. And this doesn't mean what she probably thinks it means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Written right after episode 5 because feels.

It’s drizzling. Raven crouches in the forest listening to it and to the sounds of the remaining 100 milling about in the base camp behind her. It’s _earth_. It smells _amazing_. And thinking of the moment… when this will just be the everyday, no big deal, just how life is… takes her breath away. (In a very, _very_ bad way.)

Her eye’s sting and her throat constricts.

 She’s stuck… on the consolation to living as opposed to just surviving, stranded on a dying satellite, is that one day this, right here in front her, won’t be awe inspiring. 

It’s already happened to some of them already, she can tell. She saw it in that girl, Clarke’s, eyes. Raven was, in her touch down, alone in her jubilation. To Clarke, everything, except the ruin down 100 year old spaceship, must have seemed mundane.

It’s it the time? God, how long have they even been down here? Or is it the fact that this place is trying to kill them that does it?

She starts, sucks in a wrecked breath when Finn calls her name. She doesn’t turn around, too emotional and bewildered to face him. He comes to sit next to her and she tries to get a grip on her melancholy. (And is it already happening to her?)

“Can I talk to you about something?” Finn asks. He sounds as lost as she feels.

She wants to quip, something about _the fog and the grounders, the lord of the flies level of bullshit, and whatever else is trying to kill us that no one’s thought to tell me yet, hasn’t been what’s got you down?_ But it would bite and not sooth. And she probably wouldn’t be able to get the whole sentence out before breaking down into tears or out into hysterics. Instead she says, “Was it like this, for you?” And her voice only shakes a little.

When he remains silent, she doesn’t check to see if he’s watching her, she clears her throat and says, “The um…” and catches herself on an inhale, “God, the fact that this is earth? That we’re alive… and it’s so…”

“...Not really…” He says, “We didn’t, when we land, have anytime to stop and take it in. It was just one thing after another after another and we weren’t sure whether or not we were going to die down here or grow to heads or something.” He lets out a breathy, almost laugh.

She nods, rubbing at her face, breathing deep.

“I can see how you would though.”

“It’s a lot.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell the other’s your sensitive.”

That pulls a laugh from her. It feels real. It’sa relief.

After a moment of comfortable silence he says, “So to kill the mood… can I talk to you about something?”

She nods. “Yeah, go for it.”

And it’s not what he says but the heavy exhale and the silence that does the killing. “When…” He starts, “When I found out I was coming down here and when I found out… that the Arc was dying… I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again. I didn’t- I didn’t know if we were even going to make it a month.”

Dread grips her. “You moved on.” She whispers, staring out into the mist, not seeing. She expects anger to come. She’d- she’d risked her life to come down here… for… for _love_. God. It seems so… stupid and childish. Idealistic.

“I never stopped loving you.” There’s fire in his voice and she risks a glance. He’s staring off into the forest as well, chin resting on his stacked fists. He blinks, refocuses, and takes a deep breath. “I just… let myself fall for someone else too.”

“I don’t...”

“I love you, please, please don’t ever think that I don’t mean that. I just… also really like this other person. We were kind of a thing before you fell into this mess with us.”

“I believe you. ” She says and means it.

“So… if I have to choose between you and her, I’d choose her. But I don’t want to.”

The _do I have to?_ stays unspoken.

She watches him and he tries to meet her eyes to be open to her inspection. “Finn Collins, if there’s anyone who has enough… _compassion_ to make something like this work, it would be you. I say 'go for it.'”

He huddles against her, pressing his nose into her neck and breathing raggedly across her chest. She wraps her arms around him and kisses the top of his head.

 

\--

 

“Clarke.”

Clarke closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and says to herself ‘Just a distraction. Convenient. Passably cute.’ Before straightening up from her work and facing Finn. He hovers just inside the tent, slapping his open palm over a close fist in slow repetition. He’s staring at her, with a vacant look that means maybe he’s been staring at her for a while. It throws her off balance. Something jumps in her throat and she bites back a smile. “Finn.” When she says his name it sounds falsely cheerful.

He flinches. She’s about to say, “What do you want.” In a notably more aggressive tone when he recovers. “I know you said we don’t have to talk about it, but I want to, okay?”

She wants to say _well I don’t._ but can’t push the words out.

“I- I’m really sorry. Sorry that I didn’t tell you about Raven and I’m sorry about what I said to you that night, that joke. Maybe, it would've been funny if..." He takes a deep breath, "I… I already told you, but you weren’t just convenient. You mean more to me than that. A lot more.” 

During his speak his eyes have slid off her, which, thank god, makes it so much easier to breathe. “I don’t-”

“I- I care about you, Clarke.” He glances at her, meets her eyes. “Raven, she understands that I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. She get’s that.”

“Finn, I can’t… I can’t break you two up. I don’t even know if… if I can handle… something like _that_ … right now.”

“When I say, ‘Raven understands’ I mean Raven understands that I can care and be with you both without it invalidating my feelings and relationship with the other. And it’s fine. She’s fine with it. So, if you can’t handle… a relationship, commitment,” And he’s looking at her again, “Or whatever, that’s fine. I’m here for whatever you need.”

She has to look away from him, the open honesty in his eyes. The compassion. Her eyes burn and blur. She listens to his slow, steady approach. He places a hand, tentatively, on her sholder. She starts shaking with repressed tears.

He hums a lullaby into her hair.

“This… it’s all- all so sudden and… intense.” She gulps for air.

He rubs circles into her back, “Yeah, it is… And maybe, just rushing it like that cause emotions were high… wasn’t the best idea. We can do better.” _I can do better by you._ He whispers into her skin.

She sighs, the cascade of emotion receding, rocking in his arms, humming along to his lullaby.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to message or follow me on tumblr at dusty-soul.tumblr.com


End file.
